Ramadan & Syawal: Untuk Mereka Yang Terlupa Pengertiannya

Masa mula-mula brainstorm untuk projek Ramadan/Raya tahun ni, gua lontarkan satu statement kepada creative team, "Puasa dan Raya sucks bila kita dah dewasa. Kita tengok dua-dua ni tak lebih daripada upacara yang kita nak cepat-cepat habiskan tanpa menikmati/mendalami ertinya. I wish I was still a kid so I can enjoy this once again". Setelah dicampur, digaul dengan segala jenis idea dan perisa. We came up with this integrated campaign/web films. Gua kena bagi kredit kepada the whole team for the amazing efforts. 

Kenapa Ramadan/Raya sangat bermakna untuk kanak-kanak? Sebab jiwa diorang suci and they can see right through it. Takde pretentious and shit. Just straight from their heart. Enjoy :)









Kemudian, datang brief baru untuk TVC Raya pulak. Gua sebenarnya mati akal. Raya tak menarik pada gua kecuali biskut chocolate chip dan daging dendeng mak gua. Lain daripada tu apa ada? Gua tak suka beraya. Gua tak suka ajak orang datang beraya. Pendek kata, Raya gua adalah Raya versi solitary. Lantas gua share kepada team sewaktu kami diskus tentang hala tuju TVC Raya. Tentang bagaimana seawal pagi Raya Pertama gua bersarapan pancake McD, kemudian naik LRT dari Ampang Park ke Kelana Jaya semata-mata nak buang masa, sambung maraton movie di KLCC sampai malam. Cerita gua mengundang rasa pelik, kenapa macam sekali raya awak? Tanya diorang. Gua jawab, I don't like people. Raya takde makna. Raya adalah masa untuk gua jauhkan diri daripada orang. I don't know what happened after that sebab gua terpaksa bahagi concentration dekat ongoing project yang lain. Gua tak tau la TVC ni berdasarkan cerita gua ke apa, tapi from some perspective it rings true. Kahkah macam perasan la pulak. But whatever. Macam mana? Nilaikan la.






Salam Aidilfitri!

Dilema...or rather misteri.

Damn right.

A Deviation From The Norm

First week of October brought me good vibes.

I started my gym workout last Monday. To tell the truth, walking/running on treadmill at first felt like a fat hamster running on wheel. I even got my Vertigo attack on the first day. Shit was hard at first but I persevered. I also had this doubt whether those imaginary gym douchebags (with 21 inch biceps) gonna bully me calling me Walrus or worse Fat Blob. It didn't happen. It was just my unfounded imagination. 4 times a week and I already feel good about myself. Last Friday I asked my trainer to help me to get the reading of my weight. What a pleasant surprise. Ever since I avoided rice for the last 1 month I actually lost 3 kilo. The trainer said I have a high metabolism rate, which explains why I easily gain and lose weight. 

Despite working out every early morning and scoot to work immediately after that I didn't get tired at work, which proved I was wrong again. Instead I feel refreshed and eager to start work. Don't know whether this was caused by my motivation or else. All I know it felt awesome. Fuck, yes.

I didn't really give much thought about 'Susan Glenn'. Like I said before, probably I fell for a wrong person so there's no use of remembering here. Although I admit I did a bit of stalking work...come on, a little bit of stalking won't hurt okay. Kimak balak hang muka macam serombong kapal. Okay that went quite overboard, fuck it I don't care. 

Calm down.

.

.

.

.

.

I am.

Tried my hand on cooking last night. I don't know what went into me but the idea seems to be excellent. Conceived the idea while was working out at Avenue K. Went for lunch and movie after that, only after the movie I felt I should cook for dinner. So I went to MaxValu (after googling the recipes and  barraged my friends with SMSes asking for advice), few hours later tadaa!

Boiled vegs + black pepper gravy, Black Pepper chikin stir fry, Garlic Parsley Potato.

Not to brag, but I think I did it rather good, especially the black pepper chikin. So probably I'm gonna do it again next weekend. At least I know what I'm capable of. I was actually expecting a total kitchen disaster or... some terrible bowel injury haha.

So yeah. Again, I am content.

Ni apa gila conteng-conte..eee bulu!

Gua teringat satu print ads yang charmingly cute dengan subtle sexual undertone. Apa yang lu orang boleh cerita pasal bulu pubis tanpa exactly tunjuk private area seseorang individu (baca:wanita)? Susah eh? Agensi Neogama (peh dekat-dekat dengan senggama siol) membuktikan dengan hanya sedikit scribbling atas kertas lu boleh deliver sebuah idea dengan mantap. Kimak gua jeles betul la dengan sapa yang came up with the idea. Sial!

 Body copy: 31 years of Playboy in Brasil

Kredit: Ads of the World

Meow lapar la panda.

What the fuck girl? There's nothing cute calling yourself meow and your boyfriend panda! Shit, what a retarded generation we are breeding these days! I won't be surprised if in 10 years time lovers will address each other 'butthole' and 'hairy balls', because you know, it sounds very intimate and cute!

I can't hear you bitch!

*dials*

Hello, good afternoon! Can you direct me to the HR department?

Bzzhh Bkhhhh bghhkk

Excuse me I can't hear you, something is wrong with the line? Hello can you hear me?

Nbbhsghhj Bzzjkkl.

Uh what? Oh sorry wrong ear! You were saying?

HR department speaking. How may I help you sir?

Motherfucking right ear is such a pain the ass, I mean ear. 

Hari ni hang dekat Pavi pastu jumpa boy tu hensem sangatttttt

You know you are reading a 16 years old girl blog when:

-All entries are almost the same: boys, boys, boys

-Bitching about peers

-Re-defining the definition of being hot, and defending herself that she's not hot and will never be

-Emotional breakdown caused by break up of which occur every 5 days

-Occasional entries of BFF (despite the fact they are just online buddies, and never actually hang out together)

-A weekly report of weekend activities, usually involves bits of drama, bitching and of course, boys.

Now why an old fart like me wasted 10 minutes of my life reading stuff like this?

Lagi pendek daripada Napalm Death - You Suffer. Malahan lebih pendek daripada anda sebut Bajingan.

Hai,amik la tempat duduk saya

Gua dihantui rasa bersalah. Gua rasa gua gagal membuat tindakan betul. Gua rasa gua gagal jadi contoh yang baik kepada anak-anak muda. Gua rasa gua gagal menyumbang kepada pembangunan moral masyarakat madani.

Gua tak bagi sorang perempuan ni duduk kat LRT tadi.

Masalahnya gua tak tau dia pregnant ke simply buncit lemak. Nak ditanya pulak takut bodoh tolol terang-terang perut dia macam mengandung. MACAM. Macam mana kalau dia tak mengandung sebaliknya boroi? Gua tak sanggup kena tangan depan orang ramai dek tanya soalan macam tu.

Jadi gua buat-buat tidur. Macam Afdlin Aman Ramli dalam TVC budi bahasa tu. Gua syak dia sebenarnya melalui dilema yang sama macam gua time tu. Jadi pada gua berat mata memandang, berat lagi perut yang sarat memikul. Tolong paham sikit.

Bahasa Melayu A1

Bahasa Melayu: Siapa makan cili, terasa pedasnya

Bahasa Inggeris: Butthurt

Ehek

"Weh, kau rasa ejaan betul dia justeru ke jesteru ah?"

"Kau pergi google"

"Babi."

Betul tau

"Eeeeeeeee lawanya you ngan baju raya ni.Chomel shangatttt!"

'Ihikk, maneww adeww. Titew buruk lorhhh"

"Oh fine.You ni buruk, termasuk baju you. Ihikz"

'Herhkk...'

HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY.

30 saat menitis air mata

Kenapa iklan raya semua berlumba-lumba nak jadi iklan paling touching dan melankolik? Orang Melayu suka dramatik ke? Kalau perayaan lain takde pulak ye?

Instant Metalhead, are you one of them?

This is supposed to be the first posting of the new and improved After the Storm. Well, here goes nothing!

I must say I've been a fan of music since young. I remember I danced to Michael Jackson's Black or White, KRU's Awas when I was a little kid. Those were the days when cassettes and CDs were pretty much popular (I didn't get the chance to listen to Vinyl or even cartridge). And then when I get older, CD and MP3 replaced cassette. So does my musical preferences changed, from MJ to Grunge (yes, I listened to Grunge back when I was in form 2) and slowly shifting to more extreme; such as Metal (yea all those Black/Death/Thrash stuffs) as I get older. And then it's getting stranger, I started to listen to Ambient, Folk, Drone, Noise etc. Oh, that includes K-Pop and some female singers as well. Pretty weird huh? Well not really. OK fuck that, that is not the point of my writing.

The availability of Internet and MP3 technology have really changed the ways to obtain music nowadays. New artists can be shot into instant fame by solely advertising themselves through..let's say Myspace (I think the only thing keeping MS from getting obsolete is Myspace Music;pretty relevant til today) and Facebook, obscure bands can be re-discovered through forums, and many more (I can think more but I'm too lazy to write, fuck yeah I'm a lazy writer). I think Internet really killed the old method of tape trading and fanzine (again, I was never into tape trading and I read fanzine,never bought them). Seriously, does tape trading activity still alive these days?

Then came MP3. And cassette went into oblivion (though there are some people still prefer tapes over MP3) and MP3 reigns supreme. Then the real problem surfaced. Nobody is buying music! Well, let me rephrase, almost every people I knew (myself included) are no longer buying music! MP3 kills music,man! Yeap, it only took one people to buy a CD, rip it into MP3 format, uploaded it into the Net, and millions of people download it. Talk about making money from music, I think music is no longer a moneymaking career anymore, even Aaron Stainthorpe (of My Dying Bride) agreed to this. No longer collection of CDs (or cassettes or vinyl) being displayed on the racks, instead you have all your pirated stuffs loaded into your hard drives (all in digital format!). How sad is that?

Musicians no longer able to make money from album, and instead rely on concerts and tour to make a living. Well that only works if they go touring, what if those who doesn't? Guess they have to take up another job to sustain their living. Poor poor musicians! I am not surprised if the whole industry will go down and collapse because of this phenomena. The only to keep this from happening is buy original! Buy original CD/cassette/vinyl/or download from iTunes (99 cents?), go for to concert, buy their merchandise, or anything as long it does not involve piracy! And then you'll hear groans and complaints like:

"Bro,CD depa susah dapat kat Malaysia wei. Kena order"
"Merchandise diorang mahal dohh nak beli"
"Depa mana mai tour kat sini!"
"Gua belajar lagi la,mana nak beli dowh"
"Serius cakap, stuff diorang memang obscure bang!"

Right, I understand. BUT why is so hard to show your support? I mean, the older generation also faced the same situation. They even imported the CD and waited for almost 2 months for the CDs to arrive (from what an uncle told me), man that really proved 'Penantian itu satu seksaan'! Bottom line is, do whatever it takes to show your support. Doesn't matter if you are still studying, or already working, if you want the CD or shirt really bad, start saving your money for that stuff and then buy! It's just an excuse not to buy original stuffs. Okay I'm being ironic here, I don't really have that many original CDs and cassettes, but I've been really putting effort on getting the merchandise and stuff. Hahah,yeap! I think the only accepted excuse is when the stuff you are looking is totally hard to get (out of print, for example). Another one is, if the band willingly to spread their materials for free, then why not? You are a fool if you don't grab the chance. Everybody loves free item wei!

Then, we spawned a generation of instant metalhead/hardcore/whateveryouwanttocallit, A generation who does not buy, but downloaded all the shits from the Net, and turned themselves into metalhead (for example) overnight. Some people said Internet and MP3 gave birth to generation of posers, hell, I think they are right. I met kids who downloaded stuffs and bragging about how cool he is for listening to cool and upcoming bands, how he have huge collections of cool musics (all downloaded!) and then started to call people around him poser. To think he never have a physical copies of any bands he listens to, that is just sad. Even sadder, when he started calling other people poser, that is just like making himself even fooler (yeah, he's a fool, sadly). I even saw some kids online, sending comments to a band (who have a good potential and playing good music) saying "Where can I download your songs eh?". That is just fucking rude,man! You have the nerve to ask like that to your favorite band? Is that what you call showing a support? You fucking turd! Obviously you don't have a respect! They went through hell recording stuff (involving lotsa money definitely), and you simply ask where can I download your song? You motherfucking cocksucker, that is just plain rude! Dude, the truth that you just downloaded their stuff is just outrageous enough, must you really go and tell them? Same goes to that kid who've been bragging about his collection of downloaded stuff. Keep it to yourself, man! You are no different from the DVD peddler at Petaling Street (wonder they still are operating these days)! Haihh! I confessed, I did downloaded stuffs from the Internet, but I don't think I go around and tell people much like you. I'll be severely embarrassed if people know the truth I have more pirated music than the originals! Okay! So STFU and keep it to yourself!

Bottom line is, try to buy the Original albums, or at least get your favorite band's merchandise. I think that is the least you can do. But I don't say stop downloading, I think it's okay to download and at the same time you have the original (you keep the original for collection and downloaded version for listening purpose,get it?) copy. Well, are you one of them?