A: An Autopsy

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Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Adman by day, music writer by night. Closet metalhead on weekends. You may find me weird, but that's just probably you.

I quit smoking and proud of it

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Lagi seminggu! Mak oi!

Raptor is playing after 6 years of silence.

Come and dance with us!

Monday, May 17, 2010

This, made me upset.

Gua sebenarnya agak terkilan. Tu sebabnya gua menulis walaupun gua sebenarnya tengah dalam waktu bekerja.


Gua tau dengan diri gua yang bila mana kalau gua bersuara mesti ada yang sakit hati, terguris takpun jadi emo (tak tau la ada yang ke tahap gila terus, itu gua tatau). Pendek kata, ayat yang keluar dari mulut gua memang membunuh. Pada gua, tak salah, as long gua jadi jujur dengan statement gua. Gua sedar isu ni sejak gua jadi student uni lagi. Setiap kali kalau ada project presentation, paling kurang ada sekali gua akan keluar soalan dan literally, gua akan bunuh si presenter tu dengan soalan gua yang...yang macam saja nak cari pasal pun ada kadang-kadang. Tapi most of the time, it was a direct and blunt honesty, pada gua the truth shall prevail. Satu lagi, gua bukan kaki bodek. Memang gua dari zaman bergelar pelajar lagi gua memang tak suka kaki-kaki bodek. Gua hidup berdasarkan prinsip, gua hidup atas usaha gua, bukan atas dasar bodekan. Lu takkan tau erti bersusah-payah kalau lu tak usaha sendiri. Ada orang cakap, membodek tu pun satu usaha juga. Well, you are fucking wrong, you fucking fuck. Bapak lu ajar camtu ke? Pantat kau!

So uhh anyway. Ceritanya begini. Gua ada add juga bekas lecturer gua kat fesbuk, (selain menambah koleksi Inamorata bak kata vokalis band gua). Somehow lecturer gua tu dia update status fesbuk dia dengan ayat menunjukkan rasa kesal dia kat satu page fesbuk yang berpaksi pada isu 'benci lecturer yg gagalkan pelajar'. Jadi lecturer gua ni macam upset ah kan. Kenapa nak ada student yang nak sampai bikin page camtu. Macam tak kenang budi la kan blabla you get what I mean? Jadinya ada la kenalan-kenalan fesbuk beliau memberikan feedback (positif ada negative ada bunyik bodek pun ada, but who the fuck am I to complaint kan? Page dia, biar ah). Anyway gua pun sibuk gak nak participate. Mula-mula gua cam main-main cakap ewahh ada gak eh group camtu, pastu ada la a few comments menyusuli langsung takde kaitan ngan post gua tuh. And then gua baca-baca then gua rasa cam nak tambah sikit. Barangkali statement gua ni bikin ada pihak tersinggung, IF ONLY THEY CAREFULLY READ IT! Gua cakap 'well ada juga certain lecturers being harsh to students kan', which supposedly bukan diadili dari satu pandangan sahaja. For god's sake, the statement is even incomplete!

And then, out of nowhere, came this lady boom kasi gua a ton of kononnya very upset comments ngan statement gua. Ingat tak gua cakap statement gua memang membunuh? Looks like ada yang dah masuk gelanggang nak menari bersama lah haha! Umm anyway, maybe dia ingat gua jenis student yang jenis suka fucked up and in the end put the blame on the lecturers la kot, which is totally untrue! To be honest sepanjang-panjang gua jadi student uni, gua tak pernah nak jeopardise masa depan gua. Bila belajar, concentrate betul-betul, sebab gua tau gua bukan jenis cepat tangkap! Lagipun gua bukannya jenis student scorer punya! Pergh penat lak gua nak cerita.

Pada gua, lecturers bukan semuanya komited. Lecturers pun manusia jugak. Mesti ada yang fucked up punya. Lu tak caya, lu pegi fakulti lu, lu usha lecturers kat situ. Mesti kurang-kurang ada lecturer yang jenis suka batal kelas, ngajar sambil lewa, jenis nak kena bodek dan beratus-ratus perangai lecturer lah sebenarnya. Gua bukan nak victimize lecturers, sebab tanpa lecturers gua takkan berdiri macam skang ni. Buat lecturers gua, thank you very much! Anyway, yang gua tekankan kat sini, lecturer bukan semuanya yang betul, ada small portion yang perangai macam tah apa-apa (termasuk suka menggagalkan pelajar). Reality is harsh, tapi menda tu memang wujud. Tak payah nak tutup la, mengaku aje! Kalau ada student baik dan student buruk, kenapa takde lecturer komited dan lecturer bad ass? Apa? Lecturers are not to be blamed? Fuck you! Lecturers are untouchables? Fuck you! Lecturers maksum ke? Tak commit any wrong doings? Jawab la sendiri.

Yang this old lady ni, gua hangat gila bukan apa, gua point kan ada je certain lecturers yang harsh. Yang dia nak melatah pehal? Dah ada doctorate pun tak perangai macam..well, yang sepatutnya. Part mana dia tak paham? I don't care if you have a doctorate sekalipun, kalau approach menggelupur macam ayam kena pancung, apa cer wei?! I did not blamed my lecturers, first and foremost! Didn't you read? Didn't you use your fucking eyes? She said the must be a reason for a lecturer to fail a student. Well, same here, mesti gua ada sebab gua cakap camtu! Paling penting gua tak pernah kena fail ngan apa-apa lecturer! Gua grad on time! Fucking read and eat that! Gua tak blame lecturers gua la bodoh! The fuck nak angin tak tentu pasal?! Damn you and your academic scroll. Fuck academician!

Tengok sendiri ah.



Thursday, May 6, 2010

Hai, saya menawarkan perkhidmatan....

Gua perlu ada business card ni. Mesti!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Requiem IV



It was a weird dream.

We were sitting by the lake. And we were having a picnic. Just both of us. It was rather strange because nobody was in sight. And the lake, it emits strange aura. It almost like the lake is abandoned, we were the only people sitting by the lake.

Anyway, we ate, and talk. We discussed lotsa things. It felt real. Just like the old time. The time before it all went down. Before the passion turned into hatred.
It was a dream. Yet it was real. Everything went smoothly until I asked " How's you and your man?" to which she replied "We are finished. End. No more" and I opened my eyes. And why the fuck am doing here writing it down?

And yet, it kept coming back into my mind throughout the day. I can't explain.



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