Forgive us, God.

Funny, when we only seek God during hard times...

When reality hits hard, then only we seek solace to Him.

Funny when we actually know this all too well. We screw up, we get upset, then wee seek Him. Only to forget Him when all things seem to improve. Yet we never learn.

Never.

I/We seek my/our way home to Him. God please help her, grant her ease during this turbulent time.

Namárië, dinda

I feel crushed very bad. You know when you try really hard to hide a wound, it will eventually fester and leave you in misery? Yes. Here is something I should have done long time ago. But I chose not to. Whether I was too scared or waited for the right time, it doesn't matter now, for I think all is lost. For whatever strength is left, here it is. 

I blame nobody but myself. Perhaps I was too late. Or perhaps I fell for the wrong person.

Dear 'Susan Glenn',

I learnt it the hard way. Here, I leave you in peace. Thanks for all the time you willing to hear me and spend. I am eternally grateful. Sure I'm left crushed pretty bad, but I will stand up again, all on my own. I'm not going to say I will always love you, because over the time, feelings will change. Sorry for all the trouble caused.

Namárië, dinda.

A.

Unbidden shadows of you formed yesterday

I ran away to a room here on the bay

Interrupted life again, another new beginning

Where the silence echoes

You're no longer with me

Here and now

I feel that I'm embracing freedom

Even though I may be alone

But that's okay

Through the darkness 

I would walk in the streets

Confessions never seemed

To provide me with a release

Held me down and tried to cure me

Tried to give me reason

But nothing could seperate

This burdened mind from me

Here and now

I feel that I'm embracing freedom

Even though I may be alone, but that's okay

Looking out to a different sky will disengage me

Absence is never the answer, I know

But it serves as my shade

I do not seek and not intend to find

A calmer ocean or a sun that'll never rise

My world will never change

And time will bring you to my thoughts

I'll move on and forget you all over again

Moving on, I can forgive you all over again

Here and now

I feel that I'm embracing freedom

Even though I may be alone, but that's okay

And looking out onto a different sky

It seems so easy

Absence is never the answer, I know

But it serves as my shade

Possibly the most heartwarming cover so far

Anthony Green. A cover song from Good Old War. Probably a good choice to dedicate to your children...or loved ones. Or the girl that friendzoned you but you still have feelings for.

FWD FWD FWD FWD

Demi Islam tercinta, saya forwardkan email yang mengandungi senarai makanan/produk tidak halal kepada kenalan saya walaupun saya tak pernah melakukan background check terhadap allegations dalam email tersebut. Tak mengapa, janji saya dah berbakti untuk agama tercinta saya. Apa? Awak panggil saya pelampau agama? Bedebah, darah awak halal dibunuh!

We all want to have a good life, who doesn't want to?

Kalau tuhan tu benar-benar wujud, aku cuma mintak sekali je dia tunjuk kekuasaanNya supaya aku yakin yang dia tu maha adil dan tau dia mendengar permintaan hambaNya.


Ramadhan kali ni, tak ada makna pun. barangkali Raya pun sama.

There are certain facts that I can't face at the moment, I feel life is very unfair. That said, I wish death would come greet me sooner. At least, I can put this torment to end.

I wish I have somebody to talk to, unfortunately I don't have one. You call your life pathetic? Well, you haven't see mine.

I curse you, in fact, I curse everything.

Requiem IV

It was a weird dream.

We were sitting by the lake. And we were having a picnic. Just both of us. It was rather strange because nobody was in sight. And the lake, it emits strange aura. It almost like the lake is abandoned, we were the only people sitting by the lake.

Anyway, we ate, and talk. We discussed lotsa things. It felt real. Just like the old time. The time before it all went down. Before the passion turned into hatred. It was a dream. Yet it was real. Everything went smoothly until I asked " How's you and your man?" to which she replied "We are finished. End. No more" and I opened my eyes. And why the fuck am doing here writing it down?

And yet, it kept coming back into my mind throughout the day. I can't explain.

Requiem: III

Have you been to a point where you don't really care with your life and decided just to go with the flow? Well, have you?

Life does not promise anything, especially when you live among the pretenders.

Requiem: II

I went to pasar for a haircut, and luckily since my shift started in the afternoon, I had plenty of time to get ready. It was a hot morning, and I wanted it to finish quickly, so I walked a fast pace to pasar. The old pakcik is still running the the barber shop. Although I'm not the regular, my brother is. And me and the pakcik had a conversation while he's working on my hair.

"Umur berapa ni?"
"24"
"Belajar lagi?"
"Eheh, kerja sudah."
"Panas ye sekarang. Kau tengok ni, suhu punya la tinggi!"
"Ahh, yeah. Tinggi, heheh. Skang memang panas kan"
"Tu lah..Eh kau dah kawin ke ni?"
"Ha? Kawin? Umm.. Belum."
" Biasalah budak-budak zaman sekarang, mana nak kawin awal-awal. Dekat 30 baru kawin. Zaman aku dulu baya-baya kau dah kawin, dah ada anak semua."

And my mind started to wander. Marriage? Marriage is a hassle. And I believe in individuality. And I have a zero tolerance. Well, almost. So don't expect for me to be in a relationship sooner. It's complicated. And I witnessed how those in relationship cheated each other yet vow how they love each other..err lovingly. Love, is a game where both players cheat. And I, I trust no one.

If you happen to read this,I would like you to know, Gan tú, aon ní. :(