A: An Autopsy

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Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Adman by day, music writer by night. Closet metalhead on weekends. You may find me weird, but that's just probably you.

I quit smoking and proud of it

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Yes, and I said yes to that too. You mean I can only select one?That's preposterous!

I have received several offers at the moment. And I said yes to all. And it's not about marrying several women at once. It gives me a headache. Well um, maybe after I spend my 6th day of lepak marathon at KLCC I can finally make up my mind. Maybe.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Fuck off Wordless Wednesday!


Saturday, December 17, 2011

I want to start my 2012 with a bang.

I'm praying for better opportunity to come. Dear potential employer, I'm ready.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Teh O kaw

Prep malam tu Ucop rasa letih sangat. Berapa kali dah sejak prep malam mula pada 8.00 dia asyik tersengguk-sengguk di meja. Latihan Geografi entah ke mana pergi, bersepah-sepah tulisan tanda dia memang separuh sedar nak siapkan kerja. Ini semua training ragbi la tadi ni, keluh Ucop sambil lap muka bila Fawwaz tanya kenapa dia macam tak fokus.

Ucop cuba ke tandas, jalan terhuyung-hayang hampir melanggar meja Fazlin yang terletak dekat pintu. " Ei bongok tau kau ni, mata letak mana!" jeritan nada tinggi Fazlin menggegar gegendang telinga Ucop. Malas dah nak cakap maaf, dalam kepala Ucop dia nak basuh muka dan lepak kejap depan kolam Taman Sains. Penat gila sial, bebel Ucop sorang-sorang.

Ucop ambil keputusan untuk tidur saja kat meja sampai habis prep. Melampau betul ni. Nasib baik prep berbaki lagi setengah jam, jadi Cikgu Samsudin takkan meronda blok akademik untuk merotan budak-budak nakal tuang prep. Cukup masa Ucop kemas barang dan paksa diri pulang ke bilik. Dalam kepala dia hanya  nak tidur. Isyak ke mana, gosok gigi pun entah ke mana. Dia baru je nak melangkah tangga naik ke bilik tiba-tiba terdengar namanya dipanggil dengan nada paling biadab. Ah celaka, Arshad nak apa ni, bisik Ucop.

Arshad berdiri di balkoni memegang botol kosong. "Oi Ucop, tolong aku amik teh o kat dewan makan!" laung Arshad melayangkan sebuah botol kosong untuk disambut Ucop. Nama je tolong tapi lebih kepada arahan. Ingkar bererti Ucop akan tidur dengan perut yang senak. Ucop jadi sakit hati, sudahlah mengantuk lepas tu kena pegi isikan air untuk Arshad pulak. Babi! Maki Ucop bertalu-talu.

Dewan Makan masih penuh. Pelajar lelaki dan perempuan masih melepak menikmati milo panas (yang cair, mengikut standard mamak) bertemankan karipap kentang. Ucop tiada selera malam tu. Katil! Katil! Katil! Jeritan batin Ucop bergema dalam jiwa Ucop. Tangkas dia mengisi botol kosong dengan Teh o di tong minuman ketiga. Usai penuh botol, cepat-cepat Ucop melangkah keluar dari Dewan Makan. dan ambil shortcut untuk ke bilik Arshad. Apabila Ucop melintasi tandas tingkat bawah, akal jahat berbisik kepada Ucop.

'Abang, nah Teh O. Saya letak kat loker abang ye' lembut Ucop bersuara dengan pantas dia letak botol tu dan terus blah ke bilik dia, tersengih. Arshad tengah sibuk meniru kerja rumah Fizik bingkas bangun menuju ke loker dan mengelek botol Teh O ke birai katil. "Peh, layan sial minum teh sambil buat homework, eh aku tiru bukan buat sebenarnya' lantas mengekek gelak terhadap jenaka sendiri.

Ucop pun berderai gelak di biliknya sampai menekup bantal ke muka untuk cover ketawa dia yang tersedu-sedu macam badak beranak. Bodoh Arshad, rasa aku punya Teh O kencing! Sedap tak kahkah! Ucop membetulkan kedudukan penisnya lantas menarik selimut untuk tidur.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

After the Party: AloudAsia Penang

Buih buih buih boobs buih.









Friday, December 9, 2011

I, hate.

Look I'm not gonna waste my time (and probably your precious time as well) scribbling down nonsensical rants now, since I don't feel like writing to be honest. I might end up writing a sick perverted joke that nobody will ever get, or bish anything that I hate at the moment. Is there anything I don't hate? I hate pretty much everything! From rude mamak restaurant, to snobbish LRT commuters, I probably hate your mum and your car as well, for no apparent reason. You know anything else I hate? My boss. What else? Yes, I hate driving. My mouth spits faster vulgar words than the speed of the car I drive. Yes I hate people who don't reply my IM. Talk to me you stuck up people! I hate slow Internet connection, because I hate to wait webpage to load. No I'm not done. I hate the fact I always end up being used most of the time and when I retaliated with harsh reaction, I'll end up feeling guilty. I hate Malaysian street burger. They put too much mayo and sawce, later smudge my super awesome band shirt. I hate smelly people in LRT, they ruin my morning (or evening). Are you still here? I hate Imbiss Deli. Not that I hate the food, don;t get it wrong, I love the burgers and dongs! I hate the fact my hand smells sawce, condiments, meat after my meal at Imbiss because I end up putting my palms closely to my nostril and sniff em like nobody's business, sedap doh bau dia. I hate reading blogs by bishes with the likes of intanurulfateha or cikepal for instance, they are parasite to the society I wish they could simply vanish into thin air, one fine day. I hate interviewing beautiful celebrities, their untainted beauty distracts me from performing my assignment, I still love Jojo Struys btw. I hate being around beautiful and rich people, I wish to  rip their expensive clothes off from their surgically enhanced body. I hate the fact I never get to slim down. I hate I have to replace my black Converse sneakers every 8 months. I hate my compulsive online buying disorder, well not really disorder. I tend to buy and later regret but flaunt my stuff as if I have lotsa money left in the bank.Damn you Internet. I hate when I eat using my hand, I have to walk to the sink situated somewhere only God knows, only to have my hand washed!Some more I have to repeat when I finished eating! I hate waking up from sleep way too early from usual. I end up standing up at the balcony, smoking cigs while get my brain to think something, preferably related with Fight Club. I hate to walk out of the house only to turn back half way because I forgot my ID and ATM card. I hate it when people shouts and vents their anger through the phone. Either I get stutter or disconnect the call. I hate the fact I haven't living a normal 9-5 for the last 4 months. I hate the fact this year is probably the lowest oint in my life but filled with interesting experience. 

You still reading? You just wasted 8 minutes of your life reading my nonsensical rants. As for me, a splendid idea just crossed my mind while writing this, so I guess it's not a loss at all spending few minutes typing typity type craps and shits. Ta!
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