A: An Autopsy

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Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Adman by day, music writer by night. Closet metalhead on weekends. You may find me weird, but that's just probably you.

I quit smoking and proud of it

Sunday, October 3, 2010


Reasons why I left:

- My depression is getting severe. I need a place where I can be alone (and commit suicide...okay I made that up)
-I want a privacy. The last thing I want to hear is someone screaming at me and telling me what to do. For fuck's sake, I'm in my mid 20's, gimme some space!
-I want to taste the freedom of being myself.
-I feel I'm being treated unfairly. No more oh you can't do that, you can't to this. No more. Fuck it.
-I'm tired of being compared with other people. Why I can't just be myself? I don't care if Mak Cik Bibah's eldest son is an engineer and make RM5k a month, or Puan Jijah's second daughter is pursuing Master's degree. If they are so cool, go adopt them as your kid! Look, if I like wearing black shirts and spend my money on CDs and shits, what's the problem? Why must I fit in your point of view? Why must I be like others? Have you never heard 'individuality' before? Now don't claim you are being an open minded mom, the truth is, you are not.
-I'm losing my patient of your ramblings. Why everything I did seems to be wrong to you? I know when I said I'm moving out you were shocked, but I guess that's the price you have to pay when you make me feel alienated in the house. I tried to mend things but it didn't work. Ingat petang tadi masa kenduri? You told me to keep an eye on your bag to which I did but then  you told me to get some old newspaper to cover the lauk kenduri in car. Yes I went to get the newspaper, and I left the bag which you were standing nearby. When I came back you were nowhere in sight and then out of nowhere you screamed at me IN FRONT OF PEOPLE telling me I left your bag unattended (get the idea? Yea I'm accused of being careless!). I was really upset the way you treat me. So I assume you really wanted me to leave. Fine.

I don't know whether God really exists. But if God is listening to me right now, please help me. Light up my path.


Fariz Azhar said...

Sabar...ingat Syurga di bawah telapak kaki ibu... ^___^

A, is for Anomaly said...

blablablabla hadoi +_______+

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