A: An Autopsy

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Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Adman by day, music writer by night. Closet metalhead on weekends. You may find me weird, but that's just probably you.

I quit smoking and proud of it

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Who the fuck are you? Cornelius, Rupert, Bob?

I don't really know myself, as long as I can remember. I was born with a name, but I always believe I had another name, a REAL name. I believe I'm a spirit trapped in someone's body, for the last 20++ years. Could I have been a lost spirit that was banished to live in an unwilling host? Or am I a spirit that is made up from three different individuals, each possesses its own characteristics? I don't really know. I am not even sure if this is really me writing this. This could be an automatic writing, who knows. Who cares. Whenever I spend time thinking, I always feel like I am having a conversation with 2 separate individuals, when the reality is I communicate with myself, only me and nobody else. Like just now, when I was driving Laici's car, I was all alone I started talking to myself, complete with 2 different voices and attitude. I cannot really explain that, it's just making me feel scared of myself. Did I really asleep? Or did I wake up as another person? I have three alter egos that I am aware of, but there could be more.

He who shall not be named

The one who is writing this. My name, well you don't have to know my name. I don't play any significant role in your life, so my name does not matter to you. He who shall not be named is the main entity. The one who run all the main functions. Basically, me in my real state of consciousness. The plain Joe you meet in the streets, the writer that you despise so much, the quite depressive man who suffers from chronic self esteem problem. Yeap that's me. He who shall not be named despises reality and everybody in general. He rejects all type of kindness... why the fuck am I writing in 3rd person view? Okay, I reject all types of kindness and love. I believe every man is for himself therefore kindness should not come in between. Love, ahh love. Love makes you all weak and pathetic. Therefore I abstain myself from almost all form of love. I still love my family though. I've met some of amazing females but none of them I really want to establish a relationship with. It's simple. I don't trust people and I worth for nobody. Yes I worth for nobody. If you know me in real life, you'd agree with me of how a sore loser I am. Nuff said.

Boboy

Boboy manifested whenever I'm under pressure whether it's a negative or positive pressure. Boboy possesses childlike manners, referring himself in third person and deviated far from my normal self. Recently some of my friends beginning to cal me Boboy, to which I feel uncomfortable. Boboy also have the tendency to express his longing to be at home with his mother and family.

A is for Anomaly

A is by far, the longest alter ego I have since my break up with the Chinese girl. A is for Anomaly is bitter and emotionally disturbed individual. Most of the time A pretend to be an insensitive jerk and critical towards everybody around him. A can't take rejection and as a result he became prejudice and hold the view that the world is against him. As such A will surface whenever I am deeply stressed and serve as a function for me to start exploring other options in life. A is  a metalhead in particular and loves music in general. That is how Dissecting the Euphony is born, where A believe he can channel all his frustrations into writing.


3 in 1. What about you?


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