A: An Autopsy

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Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Adman by day, music writer by night. Closet metalhead on weekends. You may find me weird, but that's just probably you.

I quit smoking and proud of it

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Enchanted Existence/ Existencia Encantada

Am going back to Shah Alam after Zohor. I don't feel like being home,anyway.

Last night, I gave myself a thought, again. I can't help but to think what will happen after this. The exam is coming to an end soon. And after that? Hell I can't see my future. Not even a fucking glimpse. Hihi, you know, like staring into darkness. Nil. Nothing.

I'm tired of whining and lamenting my fate. Yet it's just I kept haunted by bad luck. Strings of bad luck, I may say. Sometimes, I wonder, if god is so fucking fair, why did god let this happen to me? But then again, that is so emo. But yet, why?!

Maybe after this, I should pack up my stuff, and embark a random journey to anywhere and return home after 5 years. Who knows it might work,kan?

So, dear god. Do you really exists?


The Rhymeweaver said...

maybe mate. kadang2 kita kena kuar dari comfort zone kita utk discover the meaning of life.

backpack around Malaysia cukup. Sabah & Sarawak skali.

The A said...

malaysia x best.aku nak berjalan ke negara seberang la at least.lol.

Anonymous said...

bnyk perkara di dalam hidup ni,terjadi akibat kelakuan diri sendiri sebenarnye.
but instead of menanggung dan perbaiki kesilapan diri,u blame God.
without a doubt,God exists.u cannot question that.if yes,ade makne lagi ke kamu sembahyang?
when u'r in great fear,or in desperate conditions;u seek God.
but now when u'r in pain,u doubt God's existence.
u should've thank Him to test ur patience & preserverance,make u appreciate the good times even more; and pray to Him to give u strength and guide u through ur obstacle.
sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu kemudahan,insya Allah.
bile susah,istighfar.
when u doubt His existence,u'r going astray.
beware,do not repeat the same mistake again.

The A said...

and that's a long one.and that sounds so familiar.very very familiar.again, do i know you?

but here's my 2 cents: aku tak mahu beribadat semata kerana terikut-ikut. bukan sebab nak impress siapa2, bukan nak dapat approval siapa-siapa. if i do it, i do it for myself.

these last 7 (or 6 months) really taught me pretty much a lot of things. one of it is trust. oh oh and honesty. i learnt it through a hard way, but hey, yg menyakitkan tu lah kita akan ingat.

aku cuma nak dia tahu, dia banyak menyebabkan aku terfikir. and if i ever speak to her again, i would like to thank her. but i doubt we ever talk again. honestly, gua tak pernah pun truly benci dia. probably because i was upset.


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